


This Morning I Woke Up (Still Dreaming)

by FallingLikeThis



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Crying, Dealing With Loss, Dreams, Feels, Harry's father passed away, Hugging, Hurt/Comfort, I Made Myself Cry, M/M, Medium Louis, Talking To Dead People, allusions to a car accident, but nothing is shown, kind of, psychic louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:35:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23979829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallingLikeThis/pseuds/FallingLikeThis
Summary: Louis rushes to open the door to his flat when he hears the knocking signaling that his appointment has arrived. He pulls it open to see one of his regular clients standing there, a broody man standing next to her eyeing Louis warily.“Gemma,” Louis greets warmly, hugging his client hello.“Hey, Louis,” she says into his neck before letting him go to turn, gesturing at her companion. “This is my brother, Harry.”“Hello, Harry,” Louis says, shaking Harry’s hand. He gets flashes when their hands touch, small glimpses of the loss and pain Harry carries around with him. It’s gone as soon as Harry pulls his hand away and Louis pretends he didn’t see anything. Harry hasn’t asked for his services, though Louis suspects that’s why Gemma’s brought him here.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 22
Kudos: 251
Collections: Walls Fic Fest





	This Morning I Woke Up (Still Dreaming)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to the mods! This is an amazing fest that I am so proud to be a part of. And thank you to the people who watched over this fic to make sure it happened and helped lead it in the right direction.

  
  


Louis rushes to open the door to his flat when he hears the knocking signaling that his appointment has arrived. He pulls it open to see one of his regular clients standing there, a broody man standing next to her eyeing Louis warily.

“Gemma,” Louis greets warmly, hugging his client hello.

“Hey, Louis,” she says into his neck before letting him go to turn, gesturing at her companion. “This is my brother, Harry.”

“Hello, Harry,” Louis says, shaking Harry’s hand. He gets flashes when their hands touch, small glimpses of the loss and pain Harry carries around with him. It’s gone as soon as Harry pulls his hand away and Louis pretends he didn’t see anything. Harry hasn’t asked for his services, though Louis suspects that’s why Gemma’s brought him here. “What can I do for you two this evening?”

“Harry wants a reading,” Gemma says, and, just as Louis suspected, her brother begins to protest.

“Gemma, I don’t--”

She cuts him off before he can get very far in his protest and Louis watches with mild amusement because she reminds him of his own sister. 

She pulls Harry a little closer to her and lowers her voice, “Harry, I know you have a hard time swallowing this stuff, but I swear to you that Louis is the real deal.” 

Louis looks away when Harry glances at him and moves a little farther away to give them a bit more privacy but try as he might, he can still hear every word. 

“You can be skeptical all you want, but he’s not a mentalist, reading my facial tics and watching my breathing patterns,” she continues. “He  _ knows  _ things. Things that I haven’t told anyone or posted anywhere on social media.”

“Things like what?” Harry asks arms crossed over his chest, body language completely closed off. And his tone of voice when he asked that… Louis wonders if Harry is actually skeptical of his talents or if maybe he believes and he’s afraid of what Louis will see.

“He knew about Ereba.”

“Ereba?” Harry repeats, voice high and full of disbelief. “Your cat from when you were twelve?  _ That’s _ the kind of stuff he knows?”

Louis bites his lip to keep from laughing at how offended Harry sounds that this was the example he was given. He turns away and walks into the living room, leaving them in the front hallway. It would be very unprofessional to laugh. He will not laugh. 

“Just give him a chance,” Gemma is urging as they follow him into the room. “I promise, you won’t regret it.”

“Fine,” Harry sighs, following Gemma’s example when she sits on the sofa without further prompting. 

“Harry would like a reading,” Gemma repeats, ignoring the resentful glance Harry throws her way when she says it.

“Alright,” Louis answers, pulling the armchair across from Harry’s spot on the sofa closer before taking a seat. “May I hold your hands, Harry?”

Harry hesitates but slowly puts both hands out for Louis to grab ahold of. 

“Thank you,” Louis says softly, grasping Harry’s hands lightly. “You don’t have to do anything. I’m just going to hold your hands and sometimes I get flashes of moments, things that have happened. Sometimes, if we’re very lucky someone will come through. Someone you lost who has a message for you or just misses you. That doesn’t always happen, but it can so I want you to be prepared, okay? It’s alright to get emotional. Hell, I might get emotional too depending on what happens.”

Harry doesn’t join in with Gemma’s weak laughter at the end of Louis’ speech. Instead, he bites his lip and gives Louis a quick nod to get on with it.

“Okay, here goes,” Louis says, closing his eyes so that the flashes he gets will be clearer, they won’t have to contend with his surroundings. He lets them wash over him for a moment, letting them coalesce into a full picture before he speaks. “I see… a street. It’s night, wet. Foggy.”

Harry’s sharp intake of breath makes Louis open his eyes. 

“Stop me at any time,” Louis offers gently, giving Harry’s fingers a comforting squeeze.

“No, it’s okay,” Harry says, followed by a hard swallow. “Go on.”

Louis studies Harry worriedly. He’s much more subdued now and it seems like continuing is the last thing he wants to do. “Are you sure?” 

“Yes. Please.”

“Alright.” Louis closes his eyes again, letting the images return to him. “There’s an older man in a car, moving slowly because of the fog. There’s a song playing on the radio and he’s crying but he’s smiling because--” Louis opens his eyes and sees Harry staring back at him, tear tracks on his cheeks. Louis smiles at him softly. “You dedicated a song to him. He was your father.”

Harry scrunches his face up, trying not to cry and failing. Gemma cries silently next to him, looking at her brother like this is new information. 

Louis lets go of Harry’s hands to pass them a box of tissues. Harry takes the box gratefully, grabbing a tissue and passing the box to his sister. 

“He was on his way home from a long trip, but he was late getting back,” Harry says quietly after he’s wiped the tears from his cheeks. It doesn’t matter, more tears take their place. “I had to go to bed and I didn’t want to go until he got home but my mum knew that he always listened to the same radio station. She said I could ask them to play a song for him since I couldn’t tell him goodnight and that I loved him before I went to sleep.”

“Oh my god, I remember that,” Gemma says, the moment dawning in her memory. “You threw such a fit because you couldn’t stay up.”

“I missed him, I wanted to see him.” Harry grabs another tissue, voice going tight as he tells Louis, “I never knew if he actually got to hear the song.” 

Gemma reaches over and hugs her brother as they cry together. Louis has to struggle not to cry himself after that story and knowing what happened next, that their dad never made it home. He discretely grabs himself a tissue.

“You were right,” Harry tells Gemma, arms still wrapped around her shoulders. “He really does know things.”

“Now’s not the time for ‘I told you so’s” Gemma says, squeezing her brother tighter. “I  _ will _ tell you later though.”

Harry laughs, pulling out of her arms and looking sheepishly at Louis. “Sorry for breaking down like that.”

“It happens,” Louis says with a small, understanding smile.

“So, what happens now?” Harry asks, folding his hands in his lap, an extra tissue bunched in his palms. “Is it over?”

“It could be if you want it to, but I don’t think you do,” Louis says, studying Harry again. There was a reason Gemma brought him here but Louis still isn’t sure what it is. “I think you’re still searching for something. What are you looking for, Harry?”

Harry seems surprised by the question like he didn’t expect Louis to ask or maybe he didn’t expect him to  _ know _ to ask. Suddenly, his gaze changes and he’s the one studying Louis. His eyes trail slowly, over Louis’ face and then down the rest of his body and back up again. 

The once-over makes Louis blush, has him looking down at his hands, and fighting down a slightly embarrassed grin. Harry is very good-looking and Louis has been doing his best not to notice.“I meant, what were you looking for that made Gemma bring you here.”

“Oh god, are you flirting, Harry?” Gemma asks, smacking her brother’s arm with her purse. “Stop it!”

“I didn’t say anything!” Harry insists, shielding himself from his sister’s purse.

“It’s alright,” Louis laughs, holding out a hand to stop Gemma from smacking her brother again. “Either way, I don’t date clients.”

“I mean,  _ technically,  _ my sister  dragged me here so I’m still not your client,” Harry mutters, not looking at either of them.

Louis bites down on another smile. That  _ is _ true.  _ Technically. _

“Oh shut up,” Gemma grumbles playfully. “I swear, I can’t take you anywhere.”

“I wasn’t-- I mean, I  _ was _ , but I wasn’t  _ really _ flirting,” Harry says, finally having the courage to meet Louis’ eyes again. “It’s just… your question about what I’m looking for.” Harry stops, looks down, sighs, and looks back at Louis again. “I’ve been wondering what my father would think of me, of the man I’ve become. I was so young when he died, he never really knew me. Not- not everything.” Harry fidgets in his seat, plays with his hair, tears at the tissue he still holds. “I’ve been having these--”

“Dreams,” Louis cuts in. That was one of the flashes he saw. A dream with Harry and his father. It had been strange but dreams always make for strange visions.

“Yeah,” Harry agrees, looking at Louis in wonder. He doesn’t ask how he knows though. Maybe he can guess. “They’re always weird, like in one my father was a zombie but I knew that I could trust him not to eat me, so I was able to hug him anyway.” Harry chuckles a little at the strangeness of his dream and his smile stays in place as he keeps talking even as his words have tears spilling from his eyes again. “That happens a lot when I dream about him. I hug him. Nearly every time. Sometimes I wake up crying just because it’s so nice getting to hug him again.”

“Oh, Harry,” Gemma pulls her brother into another embrace. 

Louis kind of wishes he could do the same. “You feel like he’s really there when you’re dreaming. It makes you feel like he’s proud of you and you want that to carry over into the real world when you wake up in the morning,” Louis guesses, watching Harry pull back from his sister to wipe at his face again with his tissue.

“Yeah, exactly. I know you probably can’t answer that,” Harry says and Louis smiles, not letting him finish that thought.

“I can, actually. Dreams are a really common way for spirits to visit us,” he tells Harry, grasping his hand in his excitement. “They can’t control the landscape so we may not always be able to recognize them but those moments with them that feel so real, that’s because they are. Harry, your father is so proud of you and he’s telling you every chance he gets.”

“He is?”

“He is. I know things, remember?” Louis gives him a charming smirk, just hoping for a smile in return. Harry surprises him by pulling him into his arms instead. 

“Thank you,” Harry says warmly, holding Louis so tight. 

“Don’t thank me, I’m just the messenger,” Louis replied, squeezing him back, happy to have been able to put Harry’s mind at ease. 

“Messengers deserve thanks too, Louis.”

“Okay, okay,” Louis laughs, reluctantly pulling himself from Harry’s arms. “You’re welcome, then.”

“Yes, thank you, Louis,” Gemma  stands up and reaches for him next, engulfing him in another embrace as he stands too in an effort to make it easier . “I didn’t know all that.”

“He visits you too, you know,” Louis tells her. He can tell she’s slightly disappointed by the outcome of this visit. It’s left her feeling wanting somehow. 

“Yes, I think he does, based on what you told Harry,” She agrees, tone thoughtful. “But not as much.”

“Perhaps,” Louis won’t argue with that, “but you heard Harry’s story. He’s been left so long wondering if your father knew that he loved him that night. Maybe he was just trying to give him an answer.”

“Maybe. I hadn’t thought of it like that,” Gemma tells him with a genuine smile. He can tell he’s made her feel better and he’s glad that he was able to. “Here,” she says, reaching into her purse to grab an envelope of cash for him. “Take this.”

“Gemma, no,” Louis refuses the money, just like he always does. He may call them clients, but he never makes anyone pay for his services. It just wouldn’t feel right to. “You know I won’t take that.”

“Louis, call it a donation if it makes you feel better, but you’ve let us take up half of your night, you deserve something in return,” Gemma argues, trying to push the money on him again. 

“What’s happening right now?” Harry asks. He’s stood up by now and he’s watching on with confusion. 

“Louis is refusing to let me pay him. Again,” Gemma complains, crossing her arms petulantly.

Louis laughs at how young she looks doing that, explaining calmly, “What I do for people costs me nothing and it’s not like I don’t have a day job. I’ll be fine.”

“You don’t charge for this?” Harry asks. Apparently he’d been under a different impression before.

“Wouldn’t dare,” Louis answers sincerely. “Profiting off of other people’s loss, that’s not the kind of person I ever want to be.”

“You’re kind of incredible, you know that?” Harry says after a moment of silence, looking at Louis like he may be one of the greatest things he’s ever seen.

“It’s just common decency.”

“There’s nothing common about you,” Harry tells him, bringing a blush to his cheeks again. “Here,” he says, taking Louis’ hand and pulling him down to sit with him on the sofa. “Let me do something for you. Help you answer a question you have or, I don’t know, find some kind of closure?”

Louis looks at Harry in wonderment. He has always been the person who shoulders other people’s burdens, carries the weight of their pain until he can help them get rid of it, or at least learn to cope with it. He faces their darkest fears and most heartbreaking secrets. It’s the first time that anyone has offered to switch places with Louis, even for a moment. “I’m not exactly sure how you could do that, but the offer is very sweet.”

“Humor me,” Harry says with a light laugh. “May I hold your hands?”

He’s already holding one of Louis’ hands but Louis gives him the other one. He appreciates the symmetry of Harry aiming his own question from the start of their session back at him.

“I feel like I’m intruding on something here, so I’m gonna go wait in the car,” Gemma announces. “Thank you again, Louis. I’ll call you.”

“I’ll see you later, Gemma,” Louis laughs. He’d wave but his hands are currently occupied.

“I won’t be too long,” Harry calls to her back before turning back to Louis. “Now, close your eyes.”

“You’re supposed to close your eyes,” Louis complains playfully, complying a moment later. 

“Shhh,” Harry shushes him. “Think of the question you want to be answered.”

Louis grins, not thinking anything other than that Harry is too cute for his sanity.

What happens is exactly what Louis knew would happen but also, so much more than he expected. He gets more flashes from holding Harry’s hands. He sees Harry, through the eyes of people he’s loved and lost, his life lived fully but mostly alone. He can feel their love for him, their pride in him, their hopes for him. 

And then something new happens, Louis gets flashes of himself. They are brighter and more vibrant than the flashes from Harry’s past, but Harry is still in them too. The two of them taking walks in the park, holding hands in a movie theater, kissing under a flower-wrapped arbor. They are possibilities, things that haven’t happened but could if Louis doesn’t let this moment slip out of his fingers.

Slowly, Louis opens his eyes and finds Harry smiling softly back at him. 

“Did it work? Did you find your answer?”

“Yeah,” Louis breathes. “I think I did.”

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
